Sunday, March 22, 2009


I thought it might be a good idea to share ideas and ask for better ideas - husband to husband.

The question - How, specifically, do you encourage your wife? What do you do to or for her that shows your support for her and your backing of her? Tell us what works well for you, but more importantly, for her.


  1. I will go first. There are a couple things that come to mind, right now. First, as most of you know, my wife has anxiety. What she needs, at the end of each day, is time relaxing and being held. So, on most evenings, we take time to sit on the couch and I hold her while she unwinds from the day. Second, she is now spending part of most days helping care for her Mom. As she has been great at that, I have tried to step up around here and take some pressure off of her. I now try to do more of the little things around the home that were pretty much left to her, before. Even though they are not big things, she appreciates them and feels less pressure.

  2. Here's what works for me. When Mark genuinely says things like "you really worked hard around here today" or "you must be tired" or "man, you're such a good mom"...that speaks volumes to me because it shows that he sees my efforts.

  3. We will be the greatest encouragment to our wives when we love them the way Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25). His love was sacrificial, in that its demonstration cost Him much, even as it benefited us. His love is also ongoing toward us, as He works for our sanctification through the purifying ministry of the word (5:26). The reason Christ's love is shown in this way is that His goal for us is that we would be a glorious church, spotless and wrinkle-free (5:27).
    All too often we try to love our wives toward our own imagined goals, according to our own methods. I am not serving the best interest of my wife when I love her toward her greater temporal comfort; toward her just feeling better about herself right now. Instead, my goal for her must be her sanctification; her Christian growth. This will cost me much, and it will not always be easiest or most comfortable even for her, but it will be to our greatest joy in the end. What I have found is that in adopting this mindset as a husband, the encouragment my wife experiences is strong enough to anchor her even when the seas of life get rough.

  4. maybe i will be able to answer this one day soon :)