The "F" Word

Were there certain words that your Mom (assuming that your Mom is different than my Mom) did not like for you to use. Well, my Mom did not like the "F" word. I imagine that you are thinking that you completely understand her position.

Well, the banned word in our family was "fart". For some reason that word really bothered her. She was fine with "gas", but not fart. I guess that everyone draws a line somewhere! Her line was just before you get to fart.

Have you ever had your mouth washed out with soap, literally? Well, I can proudly say that I have, but it was not for saying fart. I have no idea what I might have said as it was when I was 2-3 years old. (How bad could it have been, I did not even know the word fart at that time.)

It's interesting how different families have certain words that are used within the "family home" but the parents seem to find embarrassing when one of the kids boldly say one of them in public. I remember a trip to see Dr. Armstrong, who also just happened to be our neighbor and lived across the street from my soon to be embarrassed Mom. I must have been having stomach problems as the good doctor asked me if I had had a B.M. Well, B.M. was not familiar to me as that was not one of our family words. When I could not answer that question, with a red face, Mom asked me if I had grunted.

Now, you tell me this, which word are you more comfortable with, "fart" or "grunt"? As for me, I will take fart any day. I also have to draw the line somewhere.

This brings me to a half related story. Mom took one of my little sisters (Sharon - due to she had stuffed something up her nose and Mom could not get it out) to see Dr. Armstrong and left Ron (it was Ronnie at that time) and I in the car. Well, good intentions went awry and I "accidentally" put a cinder in one of Ron's ears. When Mom brought Sharon back out, she had to turn around and take Ronnie back into the doctor office for additional assistance. We all laugh about it now, but for some reason, Mom did not find it funny at the time. In fact, it is probably one of the times that she wished she could use the "fart" word.

If you are wondering how she got even with me for both of the above, she got the good doctor to order daily enemas for what must have been a couple years. Yep, every afternoon when I was out playing and minding my own business, she would either call me in for a nap or an enema. After that experience, enema is another one of those words that are across my line.