Friday, April 24, 2009

12 Step Program

Step One - Admit. My name is Mike and I am a stalker. Yes, I admit that I have been a stalker. How do you think I landed a trophy wife? I had to resort to unconventional tactics.

I found myself to be alone. I had a plan for getting on with the rest of my life - move slow, be careful, be selective, prepare emotionally, prepare financially; in other words, do everything right as I recovered.

Then, along came Sandee. There she was sitting in church with her Mom. There she was as a teller at my bank. Having no idea why I would have any confidence, just dealing with a divorce, I found myself being bold, taking steps to pursue her. I somehow ended up in her teller line just about everyday. One day, depositing a check; the next, withdrawing a few dollars. It took some creativity to find some reason why I had to go to the bank every day, especially when work was really slow.

As she was always friendly to me, seemed to be very nice, and was drop-dead good-looking; I motivated myself to act. It seemed like I found myself eating lunch where she happened to also be eating, two or three times each week. What a coincidence or good planning? Looking back, the story has all of the good elements: creativity, patience, planning, goal setting, confidence and a good dose of stalking. I had to follow her to lunch, figure out where she lived, determine that she was single, and find some excuse to have conversations with her.

There were several attempts to see her and the same number of "no thanks" responses. The thing that kept me trying was the nice way I was rejected each time. I finally asked point blank, if she was interested in seeing me. Her response was that she was not able to right then. I accepted that and backed off.

This must have come across to her as some level of self-confidence that was attractive as the next thing I knew, after me going to a different teller's line, she was calling me. What a shocker, she called me! She asked me to meet her for a talk. A couple days later, she invited me to watch the Suns in the playoffs with her and some other bank employees. Yada, yada, yada.

I no longer had to stalk her from a thinly veiled distance, I was "in". My charm over-whelmed her and the rest is history.

Step One - Admit you have a desire
Step Two - Make a plan
Step Three - Work up some confidence
Step Four - Activate phase one of the plan
Step Five - Make initial contact and superficial conversation
Step Six - Be creative
Step Seven - Show up where she happens to be
Step Eight - Gain intelligence through stalking (not the weird kind)
Step Nine - Use intel gained to cause "chance" meetings
Step Ten - Be bold and ask
Step Eleven - Do not take "no" as the final answer
Step Twelve - Reap reward of perseverance

Bingo - you are healed!

1 comment:

  1. I remember you and Dan talking about the "pretty blonde" at the bank. I don't think it was your persistence or confidence that won her over but your model good looks.